Are you pregnant and don’t know whether you are allowed to have sex with your partner? Do you know whether this will affect the pregnancy, whether you could even hurt your growing baby, or whether there are generally wrong and right times for sex during pregnancy? Or maybe you just don’t feel the urge and are unsure about it? Then today’s blog article is just for you. Because we’ll tell you what’s ok and what’s not.
Sex during pregnancy can be a challenge
In principle, there is nothing to be said against having sex during pregnancy if your pregnancy is progressing without any complications. The unborn child is well protected by the uterus and the amniotic fluid and will not be harmed during penetrative sexual intercourse. If the pregnancy progresses normally, you can continue to have sex as you please.
However, sexuality also changes during pregnancy. Carrying a child has an enormous impact on you both physically and mentally, which also affects your need for closeness and sexuality. Your partner or any partners you have in this time also have to get used to a new situation. The idea of being fully responsible for a little person from now on and for a long time needs to be processed. Sex in pregnancy can sometimes therefore be a challenge.
Physical changes and their effects on sexuality
Pregnancy hormones have a major influence on the blood flow to your sexual organs. The clitoris and labia are more sensitive as a result, making you more easily aroused. Your body also produces more vaginal secretions, which increases lubrication. However, these changes can also cause your genitals or breasts to feel uncomfortable when touched. It really varies from person to person whether the physical changes increase or decrease your pleasure. This can also change again and again over the course of the pregnancy.
In the first few weeks of pregnancy, nausea and tiredness can diminish the desire for sex. In the second trimester, many pregnant people feel more comfortable again and the desire for sex can return. It is not uncommon for people to experience a pleasurable time with new erotic sensations. This means that what you may have found unpleasant and painful in the first trimester could be perceived in exactly the opposite way in the second trimester. Fuller breasts, sensitive nipples and more vaginal secretions can make it easier for you to orgasm during these weeks. It is not uncommon for love-making in this second phase of pregnancy to be very fulfilling for many couples. In the last trimester, however, sexual desire decreases again for many people. The reasons for this can be that your bump gets bigger and bigger and you are simply less mobile. In short: it becomes more tiring.
Emotional aspects for parents-to-be
The physical changes in pregnant people can be fascinating and exciting for your partner. Your round belly and larger breasts can act as erotic signals. Thanks to the pregnancy hormones, your hair is also shinier, your skin appears smoother and rosier and the area around your nipples becomes darker in colour. All of this can have an enormous sexual attraction for your partner. Suddenly you are attractive to them in a whole new way.
On the other hand, your partner may also start to feel insecure. You may experience possible hormonal mood changes alongside feelings of serenity and self-confidence that you may temporarily radiate. The physical changes to your body may also be slightly disconcerting and your partner’s (usually unfounded) fear of harming you or the unborn child during sex could dampen their desire.
Safety and precautions when having sex during pregnancy
If your pregnancy is progressing normally then sex is safe and you can enjoy your sex life to your heart’s content. Your unborn child will not be harmed. However, there are certain risks that require caution and in these circumstances you should refrain from sexual intercourse where a penis or other item penetrates the birthing person’s vagina. These include for example…
- Infections
- Bleeding
- Premature labour
- An unfavourably positioned placenta (placenta previa)
- Rupture of the membranes
- Premature opening of the cervix
- Loss of amniotic fluid
- Placental insufficiency
- Previous miscarriages or premature births
- Multiple pregnancy
This penetrative sex ban applies in the first trimester especially for those who have already had a miscarriage or for those who have signs of a premature birth or who are expecting multiples. In these cases and at these times, restraint is advisable. It is best to discuss this with your consultant or midwife. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t still be intimate. Caressing and cuddling are often good alternatives. Many pregnant women feel more like being close and cuddling during pregnancy anyway or they long for a relaxing massage…
Sex in the third trimester of pregnancy
Most pregnant women feel really pregnant in the last trimester of their pregnancy. That’s why we’re dedicating a separate paragraph to this phase. As a rule, your bump is now big and complaints such as back pain, heartburn or water retention increase, meaning that often your desire for sex also dwindles. This is completely normal.
However, if you feel comfortable in your body and there are no risks from a medical point of view (see above), then there is nothing against having sex during pregnancy. You just need to be a little more creative when it comes to positions (see below). This is because your bump can get in the way. In some cases, sex shortly before the due date can even be helpful. This is because the hormone-like substances (prostaglandins) contained in semen can trigger labour. They also soften the cervix and make it easier to open. However, this only works if your body is really ready for labour. If your pregnancy is risk-free, there is therefore no need to worry if you go into labour shortly before your due date.
Hygiene is important!
Whatever works for you now – if you get intimate, pay attention to hygiene! This is because a lack of hygiene during sex during pregnancy can favour infections. These in turn can trigger premature labour and lead to a premature birth. The only thing that helps against bacteria or fungi is adequate personal hygiene. Warm water, for example while showering, is usually enough. You should also not overdo with soaps or scented products in your intimate area so that the protective environment of your vagina is not destroyed. And of course, the same applies to your partner when it comes to hygiene.
FAQs about sex during pregnancy
Finally, we’ve picked out a few questions and answers about the sex itself during pregnancy that some of you may still be wondering about:
- Which sex position is best during pregnancy? As pregnancy progresses, your bump often gets in the way more and more. The usual positions suddenly no longer work. Many people then find a position on their side (spooning position) or in a sitting position comfortable. However, the doggy style is also often mentioned as a comfortable position for sex during pregnancy. This is because it relieves pressure on the bump and is more comfortable for her.
- How long can you have sex during pregnancy? If you are pregnant without complications, there are generally no restrictions on the type and duration of your sexual activities. As long as you feel comfortable with it and try not to overdo it.
- Up to what point before the birth is sex still possible? In theory, sex is possible up until the birth. However, many pregnant people decide to abstain from sex in the last few days before the due date (EDD). However, as already mentioned, having sex shortly before the due date can also lead to labour starting more quickly – provided that your body is ready for it.
- What to do if you bleed after sex during pregnancy? Bleeding after sex during pregnancy is not uncommon. Because the genital area is so well supplied with blood, there is often light bleeding that is not a cause for concern. This is known as contact bleeding, which you may already be familiar with from vaginal examinations at the gynaecologist. They are harmless and pose no danger to mother or child. They usually subside quickly. However, if you have heavier bleeding and even feel pain, contact your midwife or visit a doctor immediately.
Sex during pregnancy – however you like it
As you can see, you are welcome to pursue your desires during pregnancy – as long as your pregnancy is progressing normally. However, if anything unexpected occurs or you have a high-risk pregnancy, be sure to talk to your doctor or midwife first. And even if you don’t feel like having sex at all, this is absolutely normal. Ultimately, your individual needs will determine how much sex during pregnancy is ok and comfortable for you.
Talk openly with your partner or partners about your feelings, thoughts, worries or desires. Get tips and advice from couples therapists, midwives or gynaecologists. Sex during pregnancy can have many facets. Be creative and look for a form of intimacy that you can both fully enjoy.
Featured Photo by Janko Ferlic
