Christmas is just around the corner. At this time of year, the (extended) family often gathers around the table to eat together. And a family meal is so much more than just a get-together to eat. It is an event that has a huge impact on family bonding and emotional well-being.
The data on family meals
Studies have shown that a family meal together can improve bonding within the family, if only because it provides a regular opportunity to socialise with one another. According to research published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, children who share meals with their families three or more times a week are more likely to exhibit healthy eating habits, perform better academically, and experience fewer behavioral problems. These shared meals are a place for everyday conversations that help individual family members feel connected, heard and seen.
A study from Harvard Health Publications also highlights that eating together not only strengthens family bonds but also encourages healthier dietary choices. As parents, you can be a role model for your children when it comes to eating habits, and it gives you the opportunity to discuss the day’s events, and address any concerns your children might have, contributing to better emotional health and resilience.
By making a conscious decision to use your meals together to build bonds within the family, you have automatically created a place where not only communication but also the general development of your child or children is strengthened and encouraged. And yes, we realise that mealtimes with small children can be pretty chaotic. But nobody expects perfection, just connection. And in today’s blog, we would like to give you a few ideas on how you can create these bonding moments at the breakfast, lunch or dinner table.
Setting the stage for bonding over family meals
Creating a healthy dining environment starts with removing distractions like TVs, iPads and phones. Toys at and on the dining table can also be too distracting. This is because many children would rather play than eat. And then the toys end up in the food faster than you would like – an unnecessary stress factor. By the way: this rule also applies to you adults. Keep your phone or device in another room during the meal so that you are not tempted to even quickly “just check” it..
Having a seat that your kid fits in makes a huge difference too! Whether it’s a high chair or a toddler chair it should be a place where your little one feels comfortable so they aren’t sitting too high or too low, and their feet are firmly anchored on a footrest. This will help your little one to focus on the food in front of them and keep them occupied.
Routines and rituals for family meals
Regular family meals are the cornerstone of harmony and structure in your home. Establishing a consistent routine around dining can significantly benefit families, especially those with young children. Here are some practical suggestions for parents looking to cultivate a nurturing mealtime environment:
- Fixed mealtimes: Set specific times for dinner that work consistently with your family’s schedule. This gives your children a sense of security, normality and anticipation. Young children in particular long for routines. These help them to understand what is expected of them and when. This way you can reduce anxiety and resistance around mealtimes.
- Prepare food together: Involve your children in meal preparations. Depending on their age and abilities. For example, toddlers could use their kitchen tower to wash or chop (with a safety knife!) the vegetables or set the table. If you involve your children in this way, they will know they are a valued and an important part of your family team. It also makes the transition to the dining table a little smoother – especially for those who need a little more persuasion to get to the table.
- Transition ritual: Think of a mini-ritual that lets everyone know that it’s time to begin the family meal. This could be a ringing bell, a certain song or a loud and clear ‘Dinner!’ Signals like these make it easier for your children to switch from playtime or screen time to mealtime.
- Designated seating: Have specific seats for each family member. Consistent seating arrangements can provide a comforting predictability and a sense of ownership for young children. This also helps in managing dynamics between siblings as there are no sudden arguments about who sits where and on which chair. Everyone has their own place where they feel comfortable.
- No distractions: As we mentioned above, anyone who is distracted by electronic devices, toys or books will not be able to take part in the dialogue so make sure all of these are cleared from the table before you start eating.
- Routines for afterwards: After the meal, you should also involve the whole family in cleaning up. The little ones can carry their own plates into the kitchen or wipe the table. Afterwards, family time together is a valuable ritual. This could be a short walk in the fresh air or playing a board game together. This helps to end the evening with a nice experience together as a family.
By implementing these routines as part of your family meal, you can create a mealtime environment that nurtures both the body and the spirit of all family members. These practices are not only about feeding the physical body but also about nourishing the family’s emotional and social connections, providing a daily touchpoint that strengthens the family unit.
Conversation starters for family meals
Kickstart dinner conversations with questions that will encourage discussion rather than “yes or no” answers. Here are a few examples:
- Highs and lows of the day: How about starting dinner with “high, low, buffalo” where everyone shares the high of their day, the low of their day, and something that was silly or made them smile. This simple question can lead to deeper conversations and helps children articulate their experiences and emotions.
- Observation Games: Adapt this to suit all ages by asking younger children to identify colors or shapes on the table, and challenge older kids with more abstract observations, like guessing which ingredients were used in the meal or discussing the origins of various dishes.
- Animal imitations and more: Young children love to guess animal sounds or even act them out themselves. With older children, you could turn this into an animal quiz by asking about habitats or special features and characteristics of the animals. This will arouse curiosity and encourage learning through play.
- Storyteller: Start a story and go around the table adding to it. This can be tailored to the age of the children, with older kids being challenged to add more complex ideas or plot twists, fostering creativity and sequential thinking.
- Express and reflect on feelings: Ask questions such as ‘How did you feel about a particular event at school/nursery today?’ or ‘What made you laugh today?’ This encourages children of all ages to reflect on their feelings and promotes their emotional intelligence.
- Would You Rather’ Questions: Take it in turns to ask “would you rather” questions. These can range from simple choices for younger kids to more complex dilemmas for older children, such as, “Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?” Discussing their choices can lead to interesting insights into their personalities and values.
- Fictional scenarios: You can encourage your older children’s imagination by creating scenarios such as ‘If you could travel anywhere, where would you fly/ride/walk – and why?’ or ‘If you could invent something, what problem would it solve?’ This helps them to think in a problem-solving and goal-orientated way or to encourage this type of thinking.
- Historical ‘what ifs’: This idea is again for families with older children: Create a historical ‘what if’ scenario, such as ‘What if the internet had been invented 50 years earlier?’ Discussions like this can stimulate critical thinking and teach history in a fun way.
- Dreams and wishes for the future: Ask your children – regardless of their age – about their dreams and wishes for the future. Discuss with them the steps they think they need to take to realise these dreams and wishes. These conversations not only fuel ambition, but also provide insights into what inspires and motivates your children.
- More fun table games: Introduce fun table games that get everyone involved. Examples are knowledge quizzes about family history, word games or simple riddles. These games provide lots of fun and make lunch or dinner lively and educational.
- Gratitude and reflection at family meals: Take the time to talk about what you are personally grateful for at each meal together. Talk about the best moments of the day and talk about your plans for the coming days. This can be a wonderful way to end a family meal and foster positivity.
Create family traditions around food
Creating family traditions around your communal meal can have a profound impact on your children and their identity. They consciously feel that they are part of this family. These traditions can become rituals that are cherished and celebrated for decades. Children and adults alike look forward to them again and again, they strengthen family bonds and become lifelong memories. Here are a few inspirations for family dinner traditions that you could introduce into your family life:
- Sunday Dinner: Turn a Friday or a Sunday night dinner into a special family gathering with a more elaborate meal or a favourite family recipe. This weekly tradition can become a firm institution, giving everyone a chance to reconnect with the family at the end of a busy week and before heading into a new week.
- Cultural evenings: Each week or month you could try a new cuisine: Italian, Mexican, Japanese or Indian etc. With every meal you learn something new about the respective culture with the help of music, food and decoration. This makes a dinner like this not only exciting, but also educational.
- Birthday wish: The birthday child can decide what to eat on their special day. From their favourite meal at home to their favourite meal from their favourite restaurant – anything goes. In this way, not only the respective family member is celebrated on this special day, but also their own personal taste.
- Breakfast for dinner: Breakfast for dinner once a week. It’s quite simple. After all, surely everyone likes scrambled eggs with bacon or yoghurt and fruit in the evening, right? And it’s an easy one to prepare too!
- Theme evenings: These stand out a little from the theme evenings above, but also introduce a regularity that everyone can rely on. How about pizza Mondays or taco Tuesdays? This routine makes meal planning for the week easier for you and helps the children to look forward to certain days of the week in particular.
- Family cookbook: A family cookbook to which everyone can contribute their favourite recipes is a wonderful thing. The book will grow bigger and thicker over time and become a valuable family heirloom that can be passed down from generation to generation. Grab your recipe book at regular intervals and cook something together from it. And as soon as you discover new favourite dishes, add them.
A family meal that is memorable and strengthen bonds
By bringing fun and joy to the dinner table and creating an atmosphere where everyone feels like contributing and is grateful for what they have, a family meal can really strengthen family bonds. Remember, it’s not just about the food, it’s about the memories and connections that are created around the dinner table. So, what are you waiting for? Get started tonight. Turn your family meal into stimulating bonding time.
